In the Blood 3
by Lacadiva
Summary: Serious Shepp whumpage. John is imprisoned for espionage. His capture use a unique form of torture and interrogation. Did I say major Shepp whumpage? My first Stargate Atlantis story.
1. Chapter 1

In the Blood (3/3)

by Lacadiva

_Rating: PG-13/R for violence. Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I won't get anything, and I'm happy that way. _

_Summary: Serious Shepp whumpage. John is imprisoned for suspicion of espionage by offworld captors who use a very unusual torture and interrogation technique. Did I say major Shepp whumpage? _

vv 3 vv

She followed the horse drawn wagon at a distance, staying as far away as she could, hiding behind rock formations or sparse, dried trees that stood slumped like old soldiers still proud to serve. The wagon came to a halt, and Niri watched as the same two Guards who had expelled her from her home were now doing the same to John. They dragged him off the back of the wagon and let his body fall hard onto the dusty ground. They kicked him a few times, prodded him, checking to see if he was still alive. She couldn't tell from where she watched, but she felt that he had not yet died. Her blood would tell her. They were still oddly, mildly connected.

The Guards called out to the horses to go, and the wagon turned 180 degrees and headed back for the prison. Niri remained still if a little impatient behind the tree, waiting for the wagon to travel a safe distance away. Then she ran to John.

She touched his face. It felt cold, despite the heat. She grabbed one of his hands and held it. It sat limp and cold in her hands. There was not much life left in him. She shook him, hoping he would open his eyes. He did not. She hummed to him, stroking his sweaty, dirty face. She knew there was only one way to save him. She held his arm to her mouth and sank her teeth into his flesh.

vv vv

The air felt cool and sweet, dancing on his skin. Gone was the cold bite of the stone floor. This was something else. He was someplace else. John opened his eyes and was met by a thousand stars in the night sky. Lamemnia was beautiful. He suddenly realized he was free.

John sat up shakily touching his body. There was pain, he remembered. He remember knowing he was dying. Maybe he was dead.

He looked around him in the dark - it was as if he had some kind of special night vision. He could see and feel everything. Then it hit him. He only felt this strong, this invincible, because of Niri.

And then he saw her.

She was lying still and lifeless on the ground not far from him. Her mouth was still stained with is blood, which was also pooled on the ground where she had vomited it up. He shook her. She didn't move.

"Niri!" he called out. She remained still. He didn't know if she would have a pulse in the same places one would find a human pulse, but he felt for it anyway. He found something, just behind her ear, throbbing very weakly. Her skin was freezing cold, colder than the night desert air around them had suddenly become. He knew he had to do something or she would die.

He lifted her small body into his arms, stood, and began walking.

vv vv

He didn't know where he was going, but he figured he would find some place that could be used as a shelter, perhaps build a fire to bring warmth back the both of them, and give them a chance to sleep and revive. He knew that in a few short hours he would be back in the throes of withdrawal, so he wanted to make the most of his time while he was still lucid and somewhat strong. He also wanted to make sure that Niri kept her mouth shut and away from him.

He felt her stir in his arms, heard her moan. 'Hey! You coming around?" he said, a little winded from the walk. "'Bout time. I was getting bored out here." John didn't know if she heard him, but it made him feel better to just talk. He hefted her in his arms to get a better hold of her, and continued.

"You know where I can maybe find a Holiday Inn or a Ramada around here? I'd even settle for a Motel 6 after T'kel's crappy accommodations. No room service, no turn down service. No little mint on your pillow. Heck, no pillow. We gotta hunker down somewhere out here. It's getting pretty cold. And you're not looking so...blue...right now."

"John," Niri slurred.

"Yeah?"

"You will go to the Stargate?"

"If I can get my bearings, and after a little sleep, yeah, that's the plan."

"I want to find my people..."

"You and me both."

"...when the time comes for me to die..."

"Nobody's dying, Niri. Not on my watch. You just hang in there."

vv vv

Weariness was creeping up on John. He was sitting with his back against a huge tree, holding Niri in his arms. The creature was not doing well, and he feared she would die as he held her. Her amber eyes had grown dull. Her skin was cold and clammy. She was in and out of consciousness, and no longer humming.

"Why'd you do it, Niri? You knew what it was doing to you. Why couldn't you just let me be?"

"I did not wish for you to die, John. You were nice to me."

"No I wasn't. I threatened to kill you, remember? I would've done it too."

"But you didn't."

"Well...don't tell anybody. It'll ruin my reputation as a tough guy."

"Tough guy..." Her eyes closed, and she fell back into unconsciousness.

vv vv

"How close?" Ronon asked anxiously.

"Pretty close, according to the scanner, if we can believe what it says," said Carter. "His life sign's pretty weak."

"John!" Teyla shouted, shining a light around the area, expecting to find him lying unconscious or dying on the ground. "JOHN!"

Her light did finally find something - she wasn't sure at first, but then her heart began to beat harder and faster against her chest. "Over here!" Teyla shouted, and the others quickly followed as she began running.

John had fallen asleep while holding Niri. He hadn't meant to, but the exhaustion was more than he could handle. He thought he was dreaming when he heard someone shouting his name. He looked up and realized it sounded like Teyla. His own heart quickened as adrenaline suddenly pumped through him. He silently prayed it was not a dream, but real. His answer came in the form of flashlight beams dancing in the distance and moving closer. Voices called his name louder.

He was rescued.

"Took you long enough," said John, as his friends arrived, winded and excited to find him. They stared at the unconscious creature in John's lap.

"I'll explain later. Right now, we have to get her back to Atlantis."

vv vv

There was much protesting from Samantha and arguing back and forth by the away team regarding whether they should bring the creature back with them to Atlantis.

"We risk exposing everyone to all manner of bacteria of unknown origin," Rodney cried, "not to mention the fact that with those teeth, she could be seriously dangerous. Take a look at John's neck!"

Most of them agreed, siding with Rodney, much to their own surprise. But John won out when he explained how his own survival depended on Niri's. It was an easy decision.

Jennifer Keller arranged a strict quarantine area for both the creature and John. Full environment suits were to be worn at all times when making contact with John or the creature. Dr. Keller stepped through heavy hanging plastic curtain arranged to keep pathogens inside the immediate area surrounding John. She smiled reassuringly, hoping he could see her effort inside the heavy head covering. "I need to take a little more blood."

John, laying on his back and resting well for the first time in several days, shook his head. "That's all I seem to do lately. Can't it wait?"

"Sorry, Sheppard, but I have to run a few more tests. Come on, you know the drill."

"Fine."

He placed one arm behind his head to prop him up, then offered the other to Keller, balling his fist.

"How's Niri doing?"

The doctor kept her eyes on the tube as John's blood filled it. "Not good. From what I can tell, there are organisms characteristic to human blood ...your blood...that her immune system can't seem to fight or expel. It's toxic to her, like a severe allergic reaction, but I'm not sure how to treat her. Anything I give her could kill her."

"Keep trying. You'll figure out something."

There was a hitch in John's breath.

"Is the pain returning?"

"Yeah, it's coming. You think you can move this along, figure out something?" he said, sounding worried. "I don't think I can go through this again."

"We're doing everything we can," she promised.

"Hey," he said, grabbing her gently by the arm. "Thank you."

Keller smiled, patted his hand, and left.

vv vv

It returned with a vengeance, the withdrawal symptoms. Rodney, Ronon, Teyla and Keller stood watching John writhe and cry out from behind a protective window.

"Can you not do something for him?" Teyla cried. Tears were welling in her eyes, not yet falling.

"I've already given him morphine. If I give him anymore..."

"You gotta do something, doc," Ronon said. He began pacing. "He's dying in there."

"We're still waiting for the test results to come back."

Samantha Carter stepped into the observation area. She was about to ask, but did not need too. She heard Sheppard cry out through the monitor and saw him fighting against the restraints.

All they could do was watch and wait. And pray.

vv vv

"Hello, Niri. I'm Dr. Keller. I'm a friend of John's."

Keller moved close to get a good look at Niri. The creature was having a hard time breathing, clutching at the sheets with her midnight blue hands. Her amber eyes were open, staring at the ceiling, but shifted to look at the doctor.

"He lives," she said, "but he is in pain again."

"How do you know that?"

"I feel him. Take me to him."

Niri tried to sit up, but she was far too weak.

"No. You need to be still. You're very sick."

"Let me ease his pain."

"How?"

"With the taking."

"You mean," Keller said, her voice wavering, "taking his blood. Biting him again. I can't allow that. For either of you."

"Please...he worsens..."

Before the doctor could ask again how Niri knew what she knew, Keller was called on he comlink.

"It's Colonel Sheppard. He's getting worse."

"I'm on my way," she promised, but could not resist staring at Niri.

Niri sat up, trembling but determined to find her way to John.

"Security!"

Two armed guards in safety suits entered immediately, but Niri did not relent.

"You must!" Niri pleaded.

"I can't. If you try to help John, you'll die."

"I will die whether I help him or not."

vv vv

Keller order Niri to be placed in a wheel chair, then pushed the tiny creature into the room with John herself. It took every ounce of diplomacy and manipulation she could wield to convince Carter to agree to this, and to keep Teyla and Ronon off her back. But she believed this was the only way she could buy John enough time to find a cure. She hoped it would not be for nothing, and that she was not just prolonging John's agony and hurrying Niri's death.

She pushed the wheel chair up to John's bed. Niri began to hum.

"What are yo doing?" John asked weakly, voice just above a whisper. "Get her out...get her out of here."

"She wants to help you, John," Keller said.

"No..." He fought though the restraints, as if he could pull himself from the table. Keller held is shoulders down and looked directly into John's pained face.

"Listen to me, John. You may not agree, but I believe this is the right thing to do. You need more time. Your organs are shutting down, John, and I can't stop it. Without her help, I don't think you'll make it through the night. This is just to buy us a little extra time. I've tested her saliva and from what I can tell, the chemical that has created this awful dependency in you is only activated when it is mixed with your blood. This way, I can take a sample from you right after she...takes...and analyze it. It may be the only way to determine how to create a synthetic version of the addictive substance, one we can wean you off of slowly until..."

"Not worth...the risk..." John said, then cried out again.

Niri pushed herself to her feet and moved to John, placing her hands upon his face.

"Niri...don't do this. You don't have to..."

"Find my home..."

Keller almost turned away when Niri placed her mouth upon John's throat. It was invasive, primal, violent, and almost sensual. Almost. She felt more like a voyeur than a doctor observing for the sake of helping and treating.

When Niri pulled away, all John's screaming and writhing had stopped. Keller helped the failing creature back into the wheel chair, then instantly checked John's vitals. His pulse was as strong as an excited teenager's. His heart beat sounded like a runner's who had just hit his stride. From what she could tell, John appeared to be in the best of health, if not a little...stoned.

Niri, however, was another matter. Within seconds of sitting in the wheel chair, she was unconscious. Keller motioned for an assistant to enter and wheel her back to her room.

She then took several samples of John's blood and left quickly to get it analyzed while the reaction was still fresh.

vv vv

His friends watched the horror play out before them in shock and disgust, but there was no way to hide the fact that all of them seemed quietly grateful to see John's suffering cease. Once the creature was wheeled away, Carter simply turned and walked out of the observation room, unable to communicate her feelings after the display of savagery. She prayed she'd made the right decision in allowing it.

Ronon had turned away, his posture a dead giveaway that he wanted to race into the room, throw the creature Niri to the ground and fire his weapon point blank into her body. But he didn't. He wanted John to live as much as the rest of them. He slammed his fist hard into a wall to quell his anger.

Teyla considered the spiritual ramifications of what was unfolding before her, until she actually saw the creature's teeth sink into John's throat. It was at that point that she traded her circle-of-life theory for a desire to break the circle. But she held back, for John's sake.

Rodney nearly fainted. He blamed it on low blood sugar and raced out of the observation area on a quest to find food. He made a side stop by the latrine to splash water on his face and hide until the shaking stopped.

vv vv

ONE WEEK LATER

"How are we feeling?"

"Great. Better than ever." said John, sitting on the side of the bed, buttoning the shirt to his casual black fatigues. There was relief in his voice, but no cheer. He was finally being released from the infirmary after a long period of recuperating and drug therapy. He was down to the tiniest dose now, so minute that it barely registered that something was in his system. In another day or so, according to Dr. Keller, he would no longer need the synthetic version of the drug she had concocted. His body would be free, and he would be able to return to active duty.

"Limited active duty," Keller reminded him as she conducted what was to be his last check up before his discharge. "No offworld visits. No late nights. No running around trying to save the world and everyone in it. Got it?"

"Got it," John said with a smile. "I'm outta here." He hopped off the bed and headed for the door.

"Try not to come back anytime soon, huh?"

"Only to say hi."

"Sounds like a plan. John, before you go..."

John stopped at the door. He knew what she was about to say, and wished he could avoid it.

"Have you made an appointment yet with the base counselor?"

"I'm on it. Soon as I get a chance."

"John," Keller said, her voice serious and low, "it's important that you talk about this. You've just been through a serious trauma..."

"I said I'm on it."

"I realize this was no...conventional drug abuse issue, but the toll upon your body, on your psyche, is quite similar. You need to open up, talk about what happened. You know you can talk to me, if you want."

"I'm good, Doc. How's Niri?"

"The same," she said. "Unresponsive. Deep coma. I don't expect her to be with us very long."

"You said that a week ago. She's still here."

John made his way down the corridor of the infirmary to a small room where Niri lay in a deep coma. She'd been that way since her last taking. He pulled up a chair, sat down, then took Niri's dark blue hand in his.

Teyla enter quietly, not wishing to interrupt, but wanting to see John. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "It is good to see you up and around again, John."

"Thanks," he said, returning her smile.

"It was a very frightening time," Teyla said. John just nodded. Talking about it seemed impossible.

"Is there any change in her condition?"

"Nope," said John. "No change."

"I have news. We have located a planet whose inhabitants seem to match Niri's DNA. We may have found her home."

vv vv

"Niri...hey, it's me, John. I know I've been bugging you a lot, trying to get you to wake up. But this is kind of important. Seems that Rodney and Teyla have located a world that may be your homeworld. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to check it out - pop in, pop out, just to see if it's inhabited by your peeps. I don't want to just drop you off somewhere and leave you. Point is, I owe you...It didn't start out that way, I know...I want to make sure wherever you end up is where you want to be. In order to do that, though, you're gonna have to wake up. So...wake up already. Do that, and I will walk you through the stargate myself and deliver you. But you have to wake up. Deal? Why don't you think about it for a bit. I'll check back later."

John stood up to leave. Something caught his eye just as he was turning away.

Niri's right hand moved.

"Atta girl. You can do it."

vv vv

It was difficult getting her to trust walking through the pulsing event horizon, but John held her hand, and she did it.

When they stepped out on the other side, planet side, John smiled and would not yet let go of her hand. "Wait a moment," he prompted her. Then he pointed to a place where tall green grass began to separate. A half dozen little individuals, varying in shade, but all obviously the same species as Niri made their way toward the Stargate. Niri was surprised and excited and began to hum. So did the ones who made their way to her. Their harmony was incredible, a treat to John's ears. The seven of them formed a circle and wrapped their arms around each other and began to sing.

John felt equal parts joyful and sad - joyful that he had kept his promise in walking Niri into her world. Sad that the time had come to say goodbye. He stepped to the DHD nearby, practically concealed by overgrown grass, and depressed the chevrons in their proper order.

"John!"

He turned back to find Niri and her new found friends and family all looking at him, continuing to hum.

John held his hand up. Niri held hers up as well. The others followed suit, the custom strange to them, but seeming to understanding what it signified.

John stepped back through the event horizon and returned home.

vv vv

Days passed. Life was slowly, bumpily, returning to normal. John was able to increase his duties in small steps, though he was still restricted from any more offworld activities for at least another week. And even though he was certifiably free of the violent dependency, he was still suffering.

The nightmares were near-debilitating. Every night since his release from the infirmary, he dreamed of being back in T'kel's dungeon, and of the pain of withdrawal. He may have been cured, but his body still remembered with chilling accuracy of detail every moment of his ordeal on Lamemnia. Yet he still refused to talk about it.

It was after a particularly harsh night of recurring dreams, as John was sitting drenched in sweat on the side of his bed trying to breathe, trying to quell the trembling and remember he was home, that there was a hard rap on his door. He rose on rubbery legs and opened it.

Ronon stood there with a basketball clutched in his big hand.

"Wanna play?"

vv vv

They played one on one fast and furiously. John's game was decidedly - understandably - off. As he leaped to block Ronon's shot, he bumped hard into the Satedan and bounced off of him, hitting the floor hard.

"Time out?" Ronon said, after the ball swished into the basket.

"I'm okay," John said, barely able to find his voice as he fought to breathe. "Keep playing."

"No, I need a time out." Ronon grabbed ball and sat on the floor. John was actually grateful for the break. He crawled to the opposite corner and sat against the wall, fighting to regulate his breathing, wiping sweat from his brow.

"Teyla said you won't talk about it."

"She send you?"

"No." Ronon threw the ball hard at John. John caught it. "You should talk about it," Ronon said.

"I know," John replied. "I'm not ready." He tossed the ball back at Ronon, who caught it deftly.

"Okay," said Ronon as he spun the ball on his thick index finger, just like John had taught him. "I can wait."

John smiled. And, after a time, told Ronon everything.

The end.

Please feel free to comment. I hope you liked it. Eat your peas.


	2. Chapter 3

In the Blood (3/3)

by Lacadiva

_Rating: PG-13/R for violence. Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I won't get anything, and I'm happy that way. _

_Summary: Serious Shepp whumpage. John is imprisoned for suspicion of espionage by offworld captors who use a very unusual torture and interrogation technique. Did I say major Shepp whumpage? _

vv 3 vv

She followed the horse drawn wagon at a distance, staying as far away as she could, hiding behind rock formations or sparse, dried trees that stood slumped like old soldiers still proud to serve. The wagon came to a halt, and Niri watched as the same two Guards who had expelled her from her home were now doing the same to John. They dragged him off the back of the wagon and let his body fall hard onto the dusty ground. They kicked him a few times, prodded him, checking to see if he was still alive. She couldn't tell from where she watched, but she felt that he had not yet died. Her blood would tell her. They were still oddly, mildly connected.

The Guards called out to the horses to go, and the wagon turned 180 degrees and headed back for the prison. Niri remained still if a little impatient behind the tree, waiting for the wagon to travel a safe distance away. Then she ran to John.

She touched his face. It felt cold, despite the heat. She grabbed one of his hands and held it. It sat limp and cold in her hands. There was not much life left in him. She shook him, hoping he would open his eyes. He did not. She hummed to him, stroking his sweaty, dirty face. She knew there was only one way to save him. She held his arm to her mouth and sank her teeth into his flesh.

vv vv

The air felt cool and sweet, dancing on his skin. Gone was the cold bite of the stone floor. This was something else. He was someplace else. John opened his eyes and was met by a thousand stars in the night sky. Lamemnia was beautiful. He suddenly realized he was free.

John sat up shakily touching his body. There was pain, he remembered. He remember knowing he was dying. Maybe he was dead.

He looked around him in the dark - it was as if he had some kind of special night vision. He could see and feel everything. Then it hit him. He only felt this strong, this invincible, because of Niri.

And then he saw her.

She was lying still and lifeless on the ground not far from him. Her mouth was still stained with is blood, which was also pooled on the ground where she had vomited it up. He shook her. She didn't move.

"Niri!" he called out. She remained still. He didn't know if she would have a pulse in the same places one would find a human pulse, but he felt for it anyway. He found something, just behind her ear, throbbing very weakly. Her skin was freezing cold, colder than the night desert air around them had suddenly become. He knew he had to do something or she would die.

He lifted her small body into his arms, stood, and began walking.

vv vv

He didn't know where he was going, but he figured he would find some place that could be used as a shelter, perhaps build a fire to bring warmth back the both of them, and give them a chance to sleep and revive. He knew that in a few short hours he would be back in the throes of withdrawal, so he wanted to make the most of his time while he was still lucid and somewhat strong. He also wanted to make sure that Niri kept her mouth shut and away from him.

He felt her stir in his arms, heard her moan. 'Hey! You coming around?" he said, a little winded from the walk. "'Bout time. I was getting bored out here." John didn't know if she heard him, but it made him feel better to just talk. He hefted her in his arms to get a better hold of her, and continued.

"You know where I can maybe find a Holiday Inn or a Ramada around here? I'd even settle for a Motel 6 after T'kel's crappy accommodations. No room service, no turn down service. No little mint on your pillow. Heck, no pillow. We gotta hunker down somewhere out here. It's getting pretty cold. And you're not looking so...blue...right now."

"John," Niri slurred.

"Yeah?"

"You will go to the Stargate?"

"If I can get my bearings, and after a little sleep, yeah, that's the plan."

"I want to find my people..."

"You and me both."

"...when the time comes for me to die..."

"Nobody's dying, Niri. Not on my watch. You just hang in there."

vv vv

Weariness was creeping up on John. He was sitting with his back against a huge tree, holding Niri in his arms. The creature was not doing well, and he feared she would die as he held her. Her amber eyes had grown dull. Her skin was cold and clammy. She was in and out of consciousness, and no longer humming.

"Why'd you do it, Niri? You knew what it was doing to you. Why couldn't you just let me be?"

"I did not wish for you to die, John. You were nice to me."

"No I wasn't. I threatened to kill you, remember? I would've done it too."

"But you didn't."

"Well...don't tell anybody. It'll ruin my reputation as a tough guy."

"Tough guy..." Her eyes closed, and she fell back into unconsciousness.

vv vv

"How close?" Ronon asked anxiously.

"Pretty close, according to the scanner, if we can believe what it says," said Carter. "His life sign's pretty weak."

"John!" Teyla shouted, shining a light around the area, expecting to find him lying unconscious or dying on the ground. "JOHN!"

Her light did finally find something - she wasn't sure at first, but then her heart began to beat harder and faster against her chest. "Over here!" Teyla shouted, and the others quickly followed as she began running.

John had fallen asleep while holding Niri. He hadn't meant to, but the exhaustion was more than he could handle. He thought he was dreaming when he heard someone shouting his name. He looked up and realized it sounded like Teyla. His own heart quickened as adrenaline suddenly pumped through him. He silently prayed it was not a dream, but real. His answer came in the form of flashlight beams dancing in the distance and moving closer. Voices called his name louder.

He was rescued.

"Took you long enough," said John, as his friends arrived, winded and excited to find him. They stared at the unconscious creature in John's lap.

"I'll explain later. Right now, we have to get her back to Atlantis."

vv vv

There was much protesting from Samantha and arguing back and forth by the away team regarding whether they should bring the creature back with them to Atlantis.

"We risk exposing everyone to all manner of bacteria of unknown origin," Rodney cried, "not to mention the fact that with those teeth, she could be seriously dangerous. Take a look at John's neck!"

Most of them agreed, siding with Rodney, much to their own surprise. But John won out when he explained how his own survival depended on Niri's. It was an easy decision.

Jennifer Keller arranged a strict quarantine area for both the creature and John. Full environment suits were to be worn at all times when making contact with John or the creature. Dr. Keller stepped through heavy hanging plastic curtain arranged to keep pathogens inside the immediate area surrounding John. She smiled reassuringly, hoping he could see her effort inside the heavy head covering. "I need to take a little more blood."

John, laying on his back and resting well for the first time in several days, shook his head. "That's all I seem to do lately. Can't it wait?"

"Sorry, Sheppard, but I have to run a few more tests. Come on, you know the drill."

"Fine."

He placed one arm behind his head to prop him up, then offered the other to Keller, balling his fist.

"How's Niri doing?"

The doctor kept her eyes on the tube as John's blood filled it. "Not good. From what I can tell, there are organisms characteristic to human blood ...your blood...that her immune system can't seem to fight or expel. It's toxic to her, like a severe allergic reaction, but I'm not sure how to treat her. Anything I give her could kill her."

"Keep trying. You'll figure out something."

There was a hitch in John's breath.

"Is the pain returning?"

"Yeah, it's coming. You think you can move this along, figure out something?" he said, sounding worried. "I don't think I can go through this again."

"We're doing everything we can," she promised.

"Hey," he said, grabbing her gently by the arm. "Thank you."

Keller smiled, patted his hand, and left.

vv vv

It returned with a vengeance, the withdrawal symptoms. Rodney, Ronon, Teyla and Keller stood watching John writhe and cry out from behind a protective window.

"Can you not do something for him?" Teyla cried. Tears were welling in her eyes, not yet falling.

"I've already given him morphine. If I give him anymore..."

"You gotta do something, doc," Ronon said. He began pacing. "He's dying in there."

"We're still waiting for the test results to come back."

Samantha Carter stepped into the observation area. She was about to ask, but did not need too. She heard Sheppard cry out through the monitor and saw him fighting against the restraints.

All they could do was watch and wait. And pray.

vv vv

"Hello, Niri. I'm Dr. Keller. I'm a friend of John's."

Keller moved close to get a good look at Niri. The creature was having a hard time breathing, clutching at the sheets with her midnight blue hands. Her amber eyes were open, staring at the ceiling, but shifted to look at the doctor.

"He lives," she said, "but he is in pain again."

"How do you know that?"

"I feel him. Take me to him."

Niri tried to sit up, but she was far too weak.

"No. You need to be still. You're very sick."

"Let me ease his pain."

"How?"

"With the taking."

"You mean," Keller said, her voice wavering, "taking his blood. Biting him again. I can't allow that. For either of you."

"Please...he worsens..."

Before the doctor could ask again how Niri knew what she knew, Keller was called on he comlink.

"It's Colonel Sheppard. He's getting worse."

"I'm on my way," she promised, but could not resist staring at Niri.

Niri sat up, trembling but determined to find her way to John.

"Security!"

Two armed guards in safety suits entered immediately, but Niri did not relent.

"You must!" Niri pleaded.

"I can't. If you try to help John, you'll die."

"I will die whether I help him or not."

vv vv

Keller order Niri to be placed in a wheel chair, then pushed the tiny creature into the room with John herself. It took every ounce of diplomacy and manipulation she could wield to convince Carter to agree to this, and to keep Teyla and Ronon off her back. But she believed this was the only way she could buy John enough time to find a cure. She hoped it would not be for nothing, and that she was not just prolonging John's agony and hurrying Niri's death.

She pushed the wheel chair up to John's bed. Niri began to hum.

"What are yo doing?" John asked weakly, voice just above a whisper. "Get her out...get her out of here."

"She wants to help you, John," Keller said.

"No..." He fought though the restraints, as if he could pull himself from the table. Keller held is shoulders down and looked directly into John's pained face.

"Listen to me, John. You may not agree, but I believe this is the right thing to do. You need more time. Your organs are shutting down, John, and I can't stop it. Without her help, I don't think you'll make it through the night. This is just to buy us a little extra time. I've tested her saliva and from what I can tell, the chemical that has created this awful dependency in you is only activated when it is mixed with your blood. This way, I can take a sample from you right after she...takes...and analyze it. It may be the only way to determine how to create a synthetic version of the addictive substance, one we can wean you off of slowly until..."

"Not worth...the risk..." John said, then cried out again.

Niri pushed herself to her feet and moved to John, placing her hands upon his face.

"Niri...don't do this. You don't have to..."

"Find my home..."

Keller almost turned away when Niri placed her mouth upon John's throat. It was invasive, primal, violent, and almost sensual. Almost. She felt more like a voyeur than a doctor observing for the sake of helping and treating.

When Niri pulled away, all John's screaming and writhing had stopped. Keller helped the failing creature back into the wheel chair, then instantly checked John's vitals. His pulse was as strong as an excited teenager's. His heart beat sounded like a runner's who had just hit his stride. From what she could tell, John appeared to be in the best of health, if not a little...stoned.

Niri, however, was another matter. Within seconds of sitting in the wheel chair, she was unconscious. Keller motioned for an assistant to enter and wheel her back to her room.

She then took several samples of John's blood and left quickly to get it analyzed while the reaction was still fresh.

vv vv

His friends watched the horror play out before them in shock and disgust, but there was no way to hide the fact that all of them seemed quietly grateful to see John's suffering cease. Once the creature was wheeled away, Carter simply turned and walked out of the observation room, unable to communicate her feelings after the display of savagery. She prayed she'd made the right decision in allowing it.

Ronon had turned away, his posture a dead giveaway that he wanted to race into the room, throw the creature Niri to the ground and fire his weapon point blank into her body. But he didn't. He wanted John to live as much as the rest of them. He slammed his fist hard into a wall to quell his anger.

Teyla considered the spiritual ramifications of what was unfolding before her, until she actually saw the creature's teeth sink into John's throat. It was at that point that she traded her circle-of-life theory for a desire to break the circle. But she held back, for John's sake.

Rodney nearly fainted. He blamed it on low blood sugar and raced out of the observation area on a quest to find food. He made a side stop by the latrine to splash water on his face and hide until the shaking stopped.

vv vv

ONE WEEK LATER

"How are we feeling?"

"Great. Better than ever." said John, sitting on the side of the bed, buttoning the shirt to his casual black fatigues. There was relief in his voice, but no cheer. He was finally being released from the infirmary after a long period of recuperating and drug therapy. He was down to the tiniest dose now, so minute that it barely registered that something was in his system. In another day or so, according to Dr. Keller, he would no longer need the synthetic version of the drug she had concocted. His body would be free, and he would be able to return to active duty.

"Limited active duty," Keller reminded him as she conducted what was to be his last check up before his discharge. "No offworld visits. No late nights. No running around trying to save the world and everyone in it. Got it?"

"Got it," John said with a smile. "I'm outta here." He hopped off the bed and headed for the door.

"Try not to come back anytime soon, huh?"

"Only to say hi."

"Sounds like a plan. John, before you go..."

John stopped at the door. He knew what she was about to say, and wished he could avoid it.

"Have you made an appointment yet with the base counselor?"

"I'm on it. Soon as I get a chance."

"John," Keller said, her voice serious and low, "it's important that you talk about this. You've just been through a serious trauma..."

"I said I'm on it."

"I realize this was no...conventional drug abuse issue, but the toll upon your body, on your psyche, is quite similar. You need to open up, talk about what happened. You know you can talk to me, if you want."

"I'm good, Doc. How's Niri?"

"The same," she said. "Unresponsive. Deep coma. I don't expect her to be with us very long."

"You said that a week ago. She's still here."

John made his way down the corridor of the infirmary to a small room where Niri lay in a deep coma. She'd been that way since her last taking. He pulled up a chair, sat down, then took Niri's dark blue hand in his.

Teyla enter quietly, not wishing to interrupt, but wanting to see John. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "It is good to see you up and around again, John."

"Thanks," he said, returning her smile.

"It was a very frightening time," Teyla said. John just nodded. Talking about it seemed impossible.

"Is there any change in her condition?"

"Nope," said John. "No change."

"I have news. We have located a planet whose inhabitants seem to match Niri's DNA. We may have found her home."

vv vv

"Niri...hey, it's me, John. I know I've been bugging you a lot, trying to get you to wake up. But this is kind of important. Seems that Rodney and Teyla have located a world that may be your homeworld. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to check it out - pop in, pop out, just to see if it's inhabited by your peeps. I don't want to just drop you off somewhere and leave you. Point is, I owe you...It didn't start out that way, I know...I want to make sure wherever you end up is where you want to be. In order to do that, though, you're gonna have to wake up. So...wake up already. Do that, and I will walk you through the stargate myself and deliver you. But you have to wake up. Deal? Why don't you think about it for a bit. I'll check back later."

John stood up to leave. Something caught his eye just as he was turning away.

Niri's right hand moved.

"Atta girl. You can do it."

vv vv

It was difficult getting her to trust walking through the pulsing event horizon, but John held her hand, and she did it.

When they stepped out on the other side, planet side, John smiled and would not yet let go of her hand. "Wait a moment," he prompted her. Then he pointed to a place where tall green grass began to separate. A half dozen little individuals, varying in shade, but all obviously the same species as Niri made their way toward the Stargate. Niri was surprised and excited and began to hum. So did the ones who made their way to her. Their harmony was incredible, a treat to John's ears. The seven of them formed a circle and wrapped their arms around each other and began to sing.

John felt equal parts joyful and sad - joyful that he had kept his promise in walking Niri into her world. Sad that the time had come to say goodbye. He stepped to the DHD nearby, practically concealed by overgrown grass, and depressed the chevrons in their proper order.

"John!"

He turned back to find Niri and her new found friends and family all looking at him, continuing to hum.

John held his hand up. Niri held hers up as well. The others followed suit, the custom strange to them, but seeming to understanding what it signified.

John stepped back through the event horizon and returned home.

vv vv

Days passed. Life was slowly, bumpily, returning to normal. John was able to increase his duties in small steps, though he was still restricted from any more offworld activities for at least another week. And even though he was certifiably free of the violent dependency, he was still suffering.

The nightmares were near-debilitating. Every night since his release from the infirmary, he dreamed of being back in T'kel's dungeon, and of the pain of withdrawal. He may have been cured, but his body still remembered with chilling accuracy of detail every moment of his ordeal on Lamemnia. Yet he still refused to talk about it.

It was after a particularly harsh night of recurring dreams, as John was sitting drenched in sweat on the side of his bed trying to breathe, trying to quell the trembling and remember he was home, that there was a hard rap on his door. He rose on rubbery legs and opened it.

Ronon stood there with a basketball clutched in his big hand.

"Wanna play?"

vv vv

They played one on one fast and furiously. John's game was decidedly - understandably - off. As he leaped to block Ronon's shot, he bumped hard into the Satedan and bounced off of him, hitting the floor hard.

"Time out?" Ronon said, after the ball swished into the basket.

"I'm okay," John said, barely able to find his voice as he fought to breathe. "Keep playing."

"No, I need a time out." Ronon grabbed ball and sat on the floor. John was actually grateful for the break. He crawled to the opposite corner and sat against the wall, fighting to regulate his breathing, wiping sweat from his brow.

"Teyla said you won't talk about it."

"She send you?"

"No." Ronon threw the ball hard at John. John caught it. "You should talk about it," Ronon said.

"I know," John replied. "I'm not ready." He tossed the ball back at Ronon, who caught it deftly.

"Okay," said Ronon as he spun the ball on his thick index finger, just like John had taught him. "I can wait."

John smiled. And, after a time, told Ronon everything.

The end.

Please feel free to comment. I hope you liked it. Eat your peas.


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